Austrian for foreigners

Today's might be a little bit hard to understand. But we have to move forward to advanced lessons. Salzburg, Hochsommer, Mittagshitze ca. 38 ° C: Steht ein Mann in Badehose mitten an der Salzach, füllt einen Maßkrug mit wasser und will gerade zu trinken anfangen, als vom Ufer ein Salzburger zu ihm hinüberbrüllt: "He, Du, wos mochst'n Du do? Bist deppert? Du konnst doch net des dreckerte soizochwossa saufn. Do wirst doch kronk und griagst an sackrischen Duachfoi und schbeim muaßt a sicher drauf! Hund und Kotzn scheiß'n eini; do is ois mit Bakterien und Vir'n versaicht. Wenn's bled hergeht, muaßt sogoa gonz elendiglich dro voreggn." Der Mann an der Salzach schaute ihn an und fragte: "Wat ham se jesacht? Sprechen Sie kein Deutsch, Mann?" Darauf plärrt der Salzburger im perfekten Schriftdeutsch noch lauter: "Gaaanz langsam trinken, das Wasser ist seeehr kalt"

This time we really have a word again. And it is a great one, I still have to think of the impression on my wife's face as she heard it the first time. She was totally flabbergasted! The situation was the following: The dog was barking constantly and all my mother said was: "Der kau owa die Papn ah net hoidn!" And my wife said with this great impression on her face: "It should keep whaaat??" The word and where it came from, I have honestly not the slightest clue. It is used mostly used depreciative in "Hoit die Papen!" or, as our friends from the US would say: "Shut the f*ck up!" The long form of Papn it is Papalatur. As I don't know the roots of the word, I also have no idea what was first, but I can take an educated (you know, I am learned Austrian) guess: First Papen was used and then it was latinized to sound more educated. Just like pig-Latin is. Homework: Earlier today I told you to get up and enjoy nature. Maybe you should try

Today, I (again) don't have a word. And I know what I am posting is not something that is just in Austria. Here it is called Löwenzahn and in English it is called dandelions. But I think this picture is so beautiful that I wanted to share it with you. Spring is just too great! Homework: Get up from that computer and get outside. Get some fresh air! Life is just too nice to be spent in front of that thing. Get outside and see how nice nature is.